Michael Frerichs

Big steps, big steps. This week we hit a rooftop pool for a little sun and swim and I made my debut in the H2O with some help from Pops …

Crazy water skills!!! I would never have abandoned the Italian cruise ship if I were Captain … just saying.

Eat more Chilean Sea-Bass,

Michael

Big highlights over the past couple weeks … drumroll please … I’m up! Not like from a nap or a milk-induced heroin coma, but my back and neck are finally working in sync, so I am up and actually prefer this new view.

So, I’m up and now for the moving part, moving to nowhere. I get excited when the Lakers are on even though my Dad says the Clippers are much better this year and deserve some attention. But it’s the Clippers everyone, it’s still the Clippers.

Signing off for the night, be well compadres y mamacitas …

Been a little pre-occupied as of late with, hmm, well, nothing I suppose, no excuses. Here are some old pics of New Years Eve here, come to think of it, my first New Years Eve ever. Being 7 months I find myself interacting with other uprights my parents age and either pre-crawling blobs like myself or mini-uprights like we hung out with New Years Eve.

These mini-uprights had their own table outside and didn’t mix much with me. Next up was the meal, ohh, the meal. Our hosts, Pablo and Eva, had us over to their home and Eva, from Spain, cooked a traditional Spanish meal called fideua, a Valencian dish that is very similar to paella but uses thin rice noddles instead of rice.

Suffice it to say, fantastic. While the older uprights ate I sat next to the table, post-milk injection, waiting patiently for the fireworks to come.

After dinner we headed out into the night to see the fireworks. Grandma took charge of me.

Here are some final pics from the evening, fireworks were interesting, but my mind was still on the fideua despite not being able to chew yet. Someday …

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Blissful Kwanza and all the rest. First Christmas for me down here in Chile and el Viejito Pascuero, a.k.a. Santa Claus, arrived in all his glory with some well-timed gifts to stimulate my sensory overload. We kicked off the 24^th early with Mom and Abuelita prepping the turkey.

Abuelita’s special recipe calls for fruit chunks inside the turkey to ensure maximum moistness. Verdict … it worked.

As the ladies cooked, Pops and Abuelito and I waited patiently while watching “Bad Santa.” Billy Bob had some foul lines that Dad had to apply the earmuffs on me so I missed out a lot on the plot, but it appeared everyone else was having a good time. Abuelita hooked me up with some reindeer horns to get me in the mood.

Come 7 or so we were ready for the meal. We decked out the porch as it is 90+ degrees here every day now.

While everyone else ate I had my eyes fixed on the tree eagerly awaiting Santa’s arrival.

Come midnight I was unfortunately getting changed in the bathroom when Santa made his appearance. Bad timing. In any event, he left some cool stuffed animal gear for me that I was quite pleased with.

Worked out in the end eventhough I never caught a glimpse of the fat man. Although according to the movie my Dad and Abuelito were watching Santa is a skinny middle-age guy with a 2 pints of vodka a day drinking habit and a proclivity for chubby cocktail waitresses. In stark contrast to everything I’ve heard but there you have it.

A fond farewell from the family table and a safe and happy new year to all!

Obligatory parting male model pose …

So I have overheard my parents talking about this ad-nauseam for weeks now … “when is he going to start turning over, learn to crawl, do something other than sit on his back all day and scream obscenities every hour or so.”

Well it’s not so easy when you 5 months old, stupid! If only my mouth worked … Anyways, something new in fact did happen a week or so back but it has taken me some time to turn back over to get to the computer and update you all.

My first foray onto my side …

This is unchartered territory. Very frightening as my face suggests.

Being the cruel parents they are (I know they secretly wish I would turn myself over repeatedly and just roll into my own room) they tested me out on their bed as well.

My mouth was all wet as this new view results in all the liquid that sits in my mouth most days to come streaming out. Good times.

Well, hasta la próxima amigos gringos … Michael

My first Halloween, so of course I’d opt to be a sushi roll. First and foremost, I’m round and fat, for now, and sushi is so popular down here in Chile of all places you’d think we’d have our fare share of amazing Asian restaurants. Alas, we do not, rather we have a hybrid Chilean version of sushi that isn’t half bad, and here is what it looks like on a baby …

My Mom helped out with the arts & crafts on this one. The fish was slimy and as the day went on (very hot here right now) there was an odd odor emanating from my chest. No doubt I was some sort of public health nightmare (my grandpa Ralph the public health professor would be shaking in his Birkenstocks right now if he knew) but we pulled it off. People were definitely scared.

Big props go out to my Mom, she’s the best sushi outfit-maker this side of the Amazon jungle …

Last weekend I got a glimpse of what the opposite sex has in store for me in approximately 10-12 years. Long story short, unless I grow up to be an androgynous pop star with wind-swept bangs I will more than likely not be a primary focal point of my fellow Chilean chicas.

Justin Bieber and his crew rolled into town and I can only hope a girl looks at me this way one day …

With that said though, I did receive some love from the hundreds of Bieberettes.

I like this last one below because the girl’s legs on the left blend in nearly perfect with Justin’s upper torso in the poster. Almost as if a mini-Biebs is right there in the flesh.

These shenanigans lasted throughout the night and into the following day. Some responsible parent even rented a truck for his kids and any willing Bieberette for some good, clean, South American celebratory fun. Can’t get any better than the title for the truck, “El Justin Man.”

But wait, a truck full of pre-pubescent teens herded like cattle, what could go wrong?

Girl at the top right looks like she just saw Justin’s corpse lodged beneath the double-wide wheels.

So one would have thought at this point, this whole teens in a truck deal was probably not the best idea. Not to mention will the parent who signed off on this ingenious idea be allowed to breed further. But no, what happened next is why I left the U.S. (although this clearly could have happened in the U.S. considering the power of the Biebs).

All aboard …

With the help of the police of course. Naturally.

Girl on the far right might be dead today, unclear.

Well, when all was said and done the party bus resumed its route and the Biebs put on a massive show leaving everyone clammering for more. This whole fever thing has now become that more clear to me.

So the last couple weeks were pretty jam-packed as I have been slowly building my social network here as a real life person. I arrived 4 months ago recognizing some voices and then being greeted by the two up-rights I live with, Mom and Dad. Ever since the rolodex, er, iPhone contact app has been ever-expanding. Good thing because once I learn to speak I feel I’ll have a lot to say and my audience will already be in place.

So my new contacts over the past couple weeks were Opa Ralph and Mama Rita. Odd first names but when you’re my age you can’t judge.

These two brought some great stuff, specifically from a university in California known as UCLA. I am pretty well outfitted for the next 3 years or so and plan on cheering on the basketball team publically and possibly the football team if they can ever learn to cut back on costly turnovers, switch back to a cover-2 defensive formation, and stop relying on a deficient punting game, especially when … you get the point. My Mom and Dad also spent some time with me which is nice because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to eat.

During their stay my Dad and Opa Ralph were keen on relieving the glory days of their sporting pasts. When I watch basketball on TV the players look different than them, but again who am I to judge.

When all was said and done we had a great visit and I can now say I have met all 4 of my grandparents in person. Opa Ralph and Mama Rita subsequently headed south out of town on the horses they rode in on and hopefully one day I’ll be able to make my way up north to see them and my new favorite team, UCLA, play in person.

It’s been an on-going thing now for a couple weeks. I am not sure why as most the books say I have yet to develop the ability to completely understand what I feel. But I feel the need and the need are the hard worms attached to my arms in my mouth, like right now, like all the time.

According to my Dad (the up-right with the deeper voice), my hard worms, or “hands” as my parents have referred to them, are very attractive. Maybe not to the level of  a Latin American Hand Model, but then again, who is …

So, for the first couple months the hard worms were covered up rather snugly. I mean I couldn’t really get a look at em until 3 weeks ago or so. To give you an idea, this was my life prior to freeing the 10 little guys …

Not a chance getting the cinnamon stick gloves off of them. But probably for the best as I might have taken an eye out inadvertently. But slowly as the weather has warmed and my little brain has grown, the cinnamon holders have been shed and now I’m ready to show these worms to the world!

In fact, I already have a couple pics for my new album cover picked out for my up-coming rap career. Hide your daughters …

I have grown accustomed to my hands and have found others quite interesting as well. I love my grandpa Luis here in Chile and his hands are pretty cool too … Adios amigos, Michael